What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What do you mean son?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What is the best true Hollywood story you know?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Trump is shot, tackled by SS agents, yet then stands, defiant, with fist high, and 52 hours later, walks into the Republican Convention to thunderous applause. Is there anything that can stop this man, who loves his country? Does he get your vote?

What! how could you do that?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Do you know what she said mum?

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Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Why do some people prefer watching movies than reading novels even if they are both based on the same source material (book)?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?